Re: Essence, choosing authentic personal identity, and love...
Posted by Scot on 11/14/2010 11:27:54
In reply to Re: Essence, choosing authentic personal identity, and love... posted by on 11/14/2010 08:11:15
Thanks very much for your thoughtful response today. I'm gaining lots
of insights from our recent conversations, so I would say that our
recent Classroom Talk dialogues have been a satisfying and mutually
benefical experience. And the fun continues!
We jump around a lot between the places at TTMT. Please take a look at
the Eight Types of Essence and Personality section. I'll bet that
you'll agree that this is where things really get interesting! ;)
The remedy for any 'stuckness', regardless of the cause and effect
involved in the situation, is largely a matter of doing a course-
correction with perception, or, mindfulness. I know from my own
experience that stress and other mitigating circumstances can have a
cascading, cumulative effect that can create negative emotional states-
of-being that can shade the problem-solving abilities of our thinking-
minds. A 'siege mentality' can quickly set in that can often make these
difficult situations feel overwhelming and interminable. The good news
is that the tedious, 'forever' quality and the nature of most places
of 'stuckness' is an illusory part coming from Personality. So, we must
take proactive means to get 'unstuck'.
So, what's a stressed-out person that's mired in misperceptions and
faced with a significant life-passage that requires the clear,
analytical power of critical thinking to do? Taking an internal
inventory and making the connection between the thoughts that are
coming from our thinking-mind and that are existing in-tandem with the
feelings in certain specific parts of our physical bodies is a good
start. Actualizing this connection between body and mind is really a
meditation and an exrercise in awareness practice with the goal of
experiencing the totality of the extant condition of our 'being'.
There are specific areas in the body that can be identified where
anger, saddness and other 'feelings' can be literally 'felt', and John
addresses this facet of awareness practice in the initial Kindergarten
exercises. But, this is important stuff for all of us, not just
beginning level practicioners of awareness practice.
John's explanation between a person's Personality and Essence is
offered as a consideration of understanding in terms of these areas as
being operational on a gradation or as a matter of degree. John
explained Personality as a dimension of Essence that is pushed too far.
For example, the person in Kind Helper Personality, possibly coming
from a 'need' to satsify a need to exert control over others, takes his
or her levels of 'assistence' to others beyond and out-of-balance and
often ends up complicating and hurting situations rather
than 'helping'. The Healer side identified as Essence of this
type 'gets it', or 'understands' boundries and maintains a
healthy 'distance' in relationships. The now-ubiquitous concept and the
condition of 'co-dependency' is often described in these terms.
That wonderful quote from Martin Buber that John provided at this site
is very apropos and meaningful here: "Love is taking the often painful
experience of allowing the other person to be who they really are." I
hope I quoted that correctly, lol!
This is an area that I have to be constantly mindful of because of my
career and work in the 'helping professions'. It can be challenging to
allow someone the healthy space to realize a personal accomplishment by
not jumping in under the guise of a 'rescue'. In reality, this can
often be a bid by a person to satisfy a need for 'control' that comes
from Personality. Using wakefulness to come to an understanding of the
balance necessary here is the essential work of an awareness practice
and the keys to the highway that leads towards a person's Essence.
Did I access my Essence to get out of that jam in the form of an
identity crisis and unemploment that I was experiencing during that
period so many years ago when I was first working with John? Coming to
an understanding of the dynamic involved in my Doormat Personality (and
other areas)was crucial in establishing a "paradigm shift in my head"
as you so aptly describe. Using awareness practice did help me to
effect positive movement in my life, so I would say, yes!