alternatives... Posted by Jeff on April 25, 1999 at 22:42:02:
In Reply to: Doormat to Judge...interesting combination! posted by Sally on April 25, 1999 at 03:01:54:
Hi All:
Sally wrote>I am no stranger to discord.....but have decided
that being "nice" is not working John!
But does the "alternative"? There are people in my life today that do
not seem to respond to me other than in a negative sense. For some of
these folks I have the option of movin on, there are the others(not very
many gratefully) that moving on is not an option. I am trying to look at
taking the "warrior" stance is being the person I am(consciously and
actively) regardless of the the response of the other individual(and it
may positive one moment and very negative the next).
Sally wrote> I am tired of being a doormat, but if and when I assert
myself "in mindfulness" than I am once again at the mercy of the
"scoreboard".
Yes, and so am I. Sometimes the score looks bad, real bad. Sometimes I
fall asleep and react poorly when the buttons are pushed, but I try not
to give up(the hard part for me). For me, it is rather important that I
don't beat myself up with the scoreboard. That's sort of what I've done
all my life. Pavlov couldn't have done better with any of his dogs. Push
my button, I react, then I feel guilty...
Sally wrote> I have tired of game-playing!
And so am I in the sense that I belive you wrote this. That is why I'm
here in the first place, so that the music in my life isn't just the
preset stations programmed by someone else.
Sally wrote> If this is a journey of "enlightenment" then why the hell
do I have to even deal with these assholes!
It is easy for me to be "enlightened in "class", but for me it is the
workplace(or anywhere's else for that matter) that the journey comes
alive. Being mindful while I do the dishes is its own reward, but I
don't relish the idea of standing in front of the sink all day.
Sally wrote> Guess that is my "Rebel" but I really do think that some
people are hopeless,
"They" may be, but it is not for me to decide. I can only look at
myself, and try to be who I am for a change.
Sally wrote> Am I letting, or chosing this option? I think not!!!!
Help,and I'm not kidding!
For me no decision, is a decision. "Letting" is only another option. I
have often thought that being asleep was easier in an autopilot sort of
way. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. It is definitely is not as
satisfying.
Take care of yourself, Jeff(or wacko in WA:)
Archived 15 Jun 99