Re: Sometimes, a student's troubles take precedence in my schedule here. Posted by hoodoosuz on December 14, 1999 at 13:20:55:
In Reply to: Re: Sometimes, a student's troubles take precedence in my schedule here. posted by Michael on December 14, 1999 at 10:52:16:
Michael,A tear welled up in my eye reading this also as some of the things you have said parallel some of the
people I have been acquainted with as well as anyone with a heart and much an outsider looking in can plainly see
the most devastating thing about your situation is the clear and direct influence your wifes words have on not just
you but your children also!I am much a can do dictator type myself but seemingly in a whole different way than
that.Being assertive and helping others who are not so outgoing is something I am also guilty of but the kind
helper thrown in there where the dictator with the JUDGE overriding seems to be a negative match as the
attitude,harmlessly not knowing; that manifests in your daughters words it becomes clearly evident that this
negativity is being programmed into her as well!Instead of saying " I like turkey and the sandwhiches too" the
negative "but we were forced to eat it for days" attitude shows instead and I think that must have been overheard
for that to even be thought of!?? I also have a 7 year old girl who has a very negative friend at school who sees the
glass half empty and this shows in her comments at times; and I counteract it by replacing it with suggestions of
wouldnt it be nicer to think of it as bla bla bla something positive and a nice thought and she always returns to
her naturally positive thought patterns and then sees how negative this friend is and comments to me as she
suddenly sees what I am trying to help her see!Smiles return.
It is a downright shame that your daughter doesnt even know who her uncles are as family, whether or not
"approved of" by your wife, is our best bond of unconditional love, and feel sad that your children are deprived of
feeling and knowing these people,and the importance of letting kids make their own choices about others is not
allowed to blossom as they get older and have already pre concieved "opinions" set for them and are not allowed
this freedom of being able to "experience" these things for themselves an all important part of life! Isn't that what
we are all trying to do is learn about who we are ourselves and what human nature is? It is sad they will be
deprived somewhat of having that basic freedom! Advice from parents is all important and if I see mine getting
bad advice give her several options of how to "see"something and am often surprised myself as she can tell me of
a different way to look at it and actually opens my old,all knowing:ha eyes to learning as well!
Reguardless of your dicision about your future if you do decide to "go"try to be there for your kids,and let them
understand that there is another "family" too and that you can be their key to knowing happiness and positivity if
it ends up taking your wife longer to "come around" and realize that life is short,children grow quickly, and you
being happy could bring much happiness to many other people around you ,your own family,mom dad brothers
sisters,children,co-workers,mindfulness friends,or anyone else who has to deal with you!The veil could lift and a
sunny day may shine through it all!
I realized a long time ago that you cant make others change or see their errant ways but often a change of
circumstance is actually helpful in setting them on their way to understanding themselves and can be a good
thing too! I guess I am trying to help by saying positive things which is my nature and hope you dont take this
wrong as I am endlessly accentuating the positive as I feel if we look there is a good side to everything!
Chin up!
Love
Suz of the North Woods
Continue with Winter 1999/2000 Classroom Talk or
Post a new discussion in the current Classroom Talk
Archived February 13, 2000