Summer 2001 Archive
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Control vis-a-vis community. Perfect! Posted by John on August 21, 2001 at 00:20:13:
In Reply to: Douglas A Clarification Please posted by Deirdre on August 20, 2001 at 21:05:59:
Just a brief parenthetical technical note on Deirdre's use of the term "control" there. When she speaks of control—such as one will not find in a real
class—to me she is referring to the whole spectrum of the personality wheel.
Each of the types has its own characteristic way of attempting to control life, as life is showing up. With the Dictator, it is by bullying and demanding.
With the Con Artist it is by tricking and deceiving. With the Judge it is by judging and punishing. With the Rebel it is by outrageously acting bitter
and rejecting. With the Doormat it is by acting helpless and malingering. With the Believer it is by clinging and depending anxiously on others. With
the Martyr it is by giving love to get love in return. And with the Kind Helper it is by undermining and interfering when help isn't asked for. In these
ways each of the types seek to control the situations they find themselves upset in. This kind of controlling is not found in real schools, not by the
students and not by the teachers, either.
So, in this light, everybody in class can study what Deirdre is saying there in the light of his or her own conditioned behaviors which might disrupt the
successful process of this class—or *any other project* that any of you are engaged in! The over-all esoteric idea in this is the idea of giving up
attempting to be so much in control of life (by these eight characteristic ego-patterns), and learning how to achieve specific things that you like and love
in life by skillfully going with the over-all flow. That seems to me to be an idea that could be harmonious with "community."
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