Winter 2002 Archive
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About reality . . . relative reality. Posted by John on January 23, 2002 at 17:10:07:
Douglas, if I understand you correctly, your sense of it is that reality is so vague, impenetrable, and mysterious that it cannot really be known. I
gather you take that from the Eastern teachings . . . that we are all living in a realm of illusions, or maya . . . that it is all illusions that we project on the
world out there. And that's true. For phenomenological example, it is illusions of *the permanence of things* that clouds our contact with reality, and
befuddles us about the true nature of life.
In my sense of it, when those Eastern teachers are saying that, for instance, the television set on the table has no permanent, fixed reality, they don't
mean that there's no television set sitting there in reality. They are pointing out that reality is relative . . . reality is a process of continual change.
Nothing is permanent.
They don't mean the television set on the table is not reality—or, so it seems to me. They see it as a changing process. They see it as sand, and dirt,
and metals that have been sucked up from the raw earth and put together that way temporarily. Here today, gone tomorrow. And, after all, where
are all those big old console television sets with the tiny black-and-white screens of yesteryear? Except for a few samples in museums, perhaps, they
have all gone back to the raw earth that they came out of. Their time as televison sets has passed. ("Time is the embodying factor," Tarthung Tulku
pointed out.} And now, just being sand and dirt and metals in the earth is their reality.
They are not a permanent reality. Reality is not permanence. Reality is change. But while they are here, being "held together in time," . . . so long as
they go on being here-now, television sets are reality none-the-less . . . relatively speaking.
How I wish I could teach you about the relative reality that I speak about in these classes—and show you how it really does apply to you. But that is
in your hands, Douglas, not mine. Regardless of what anyone else may do, competent teachers one after another . . . . brilliant, caring, friendly, well-
intended and competent fellow classmates like Deirdre who pitch in to help (Bravo, Deirdre! Booya!) . . . . . one must have the wherewithal to *decide
on one's own* to be a seeker in order to find. That has to be real—*somehow* it has to be sincere! It just doesn't work any other way. Of course . . .
heh-heh . . . there are always "Heffalump Traps." We can always give that radical strategy one more try, for whatever it might be worth . . . if you're
up for it.
Now, to you, Eon, for awhile.
>I feel inspired. I am not quite in a position now to look for my soul-job because I quit the job at my father's firm. And I moved into an ashram. What do you say?
As I said before, I'm impressed. This looks like a major move on your part, a major change. And the fact that you are feeling inspired about it in those
moments suggests to me that this is the authentic you, your true Being that is taking action here. You are inspired to become who you really are. And
gaining independence from the dependent relationship you were having with your Father seems to me to be such an important step. Even if it leads to
some hardship, it's a wonderful move to me.
I guess we could fairly say that you, too—like Suz and her Family—have exercised that "Dive for the Space" strategy. For certainly the space you have
been living in has been a location for upsets and tensions for you. And the ashram may be a step in the direction of peace.
Be loyal and true in your service in the ashram, is my coaching advice . . . and see if you can be careful not to let yourself become dependent on the
Teacher there in the same ways you were being entangled with your Father before. That would be a good awareness game exercise for you now. I
trust in my bones that your Teacher is a good person who would approve of this, for the sake of your own personal growth, your developing
independence, and reliance on the strengths and qualities in your own Being that you were born with—instead of depending too much on others.
(But it is *you* that must be the objective observer, and "not trust too much blindly" in order to see whatever you do experience of this.)
>When you sent me the last post on the looking for a soul-job John (thank you for that —believer(I spotted it )) I already took this decisions.
Good for you! What that tells me is that you made the decision to strike out on your own—you made those decisions *on your own*. That's a great
sign of progress here. — And you woke up on your politeness there, too! Good presence of mind in the moment! . . . You're welcome! (Me, too,
with that Believer trait.)
>You are coaching me to slow down, and my Believer already went too fast. But I think these were good decisions now John. I feel much much beter, much happier now. Satisfied.
You know, I think you *did* slow down—there in your room at your Father's house. I think you became relaxed about everything and came to a
pause. And in this mellow space, that's when this *inspiration* to change things in your life came popping up in your consciousness. I think you slowed
down enough to "catch the wave" of it. It doesn't seem to me that that's your Believer going too fast this time, Eon. I think it's the *essence* of the
Believer. I think it's your enthusiastic Student that became inspired here. And you acted on it quickly, spontaneously, and decisively. That's
appropriate! In fact, that's love in action.
This training isn't designed to make you a "slow person." And it isn't designed to make you a "fast person." It's designed to help you recognize when
you are running too fast, so you can slow down, and likewise to recognize when you are staying too long in one place, and the time has come to leap!
When you feel so much inspiration that you are inspired to take a leap into the space like that, this training says go for it, by all means!
That's authenticity calling. That's being *you*, who you really are, a man who can be filled with enthusiasm and excitement about the process, and,
yes, a man who can leap!
The problems come up when you are stuck for a long time without making any changes, and when periods come along when you are going all the time
at full speed—shaking all the rivets off your spacecraft—without pausing and settling down and being calm about it, and watching for the inner signs
of enthusiasm that tell you when to move.
This is not about going slow, or going fast, but rather intentionally moving along at a mellow pace and pausing now and then—neither too fast nor too
slow—and taking your cues from the clear inner signs that come to you in your body as you are moving along. Sometimes those experienceable signs
are telling you "Stop." Sometimes they are saying "Pause and wait." And sometimes they are telling you: "Go for it! Leap! Now!" Try to learn to
keep a fairly steady mellow pace throughout, watching for these signs.
>looking for a job- Yesterday I was on an interview for a hotel receptionist job, and I think there are big chances I will get it. I am not in a position to choose, you know - here in Macedonia there is no choice, it's a very bad economic situation now. Still I would love to receive the coaching for the search of a soul-job, John.
Yeah, I can see the possiblity of you making a job like that a soul-job for you, for awhile anyway. Good luck! It's honorable work! You'll go on much
farther than that in your day, of course, but if that is the reality for now then this job will give you an opportunity for practicing "giving your work
your best shot." And I sense you will be very good at that.
You are loyal and dependable. You will be a good assistant to your boss! You will find enjoyment in doing things that make the people who stay in
that hotel think highly of the hotel's reputation, and send their friends to stay there later, to the benefit of your employer. All that should come
natural to you, even though you may see it as a menial job for the time being.
And one of the secrets of finding satisfaction in your working there will be in finding ways that you can make it "your hotel," where you can cleverly
do things there that give you satisfaction, interesting entertainment, and intentional opportunities for learning more awareness and the things
awareness brings to light.
A hotel lobby is a perfect place, for instance, to practice noticing what reactions come up in you, when you are having to deal with the many different
types of guests that come along. For instance, what are your reactions to the ones that are bossy, or complaining? Any time you feel like it, you can
practice seeing what comes up in your own personality formation while engaging with all these different people.
And on top of that, what could be a more perfect place—whenever you feel like it—for entertaining your consciousness by practicing reading people
who are passing through the lobby with the personality wheel? It's a perfect place for having that kind of fun. Watch each person, and what they do.
"What is the person doing here?" Notice *how* they do the things they do. What stands out in high relief? What is *blatant* about them? And then,
put whatever you notice into the personality wheel and see if you can match it up with one of the eight types.
Heh-heh. The other employees at the hotel will be grumbling because they have to be there working and they can't be at home with their television
sets. And you will have live television playing for you, all the time, right before your eyes, whenever you choose to turn it on!
Why, if you spend six months practicing that—until, say, you find another job that you like better, or that meets your financial needs better—during
that time you will probably become a skilled expert at reading people in public off the top of your head from a few brief blatant details that show up in
high relief. Now, that might be a skill, if you start in now to attain it, that might play a valuable part for you later this year, or next year, when you
finally arrive at the soul job that you know you'd like to make into a career.
And I would certainly keep keeping my eye on that liking you have for doing graphic design. That's the Artist side of you speaking up there. A job in
that field may not be possible right now in Skopje, but continuing to practice it—so long as you like to—may come in very handy some day. Maybe
you could do some graphic design for your boss at the hotel . . . during times when things are slack. Keep graphic design "in play" in your life, if you
like it, wherever you go.
>A question: Are there any matching job lists for the corespondent Personality types? For example, what jobs are best for Believers as myself?
Yes, this can be factored out. There are a couple of plates in the wheelbook that show the kinds of careers that typically match up with the different
types, and what those types do tend to go into in their lives.
Let me say first that a soul job for you would probably harmonize with your several primary types, and not just one. Remember, doing a soul job
makes you happy, and you think, "Wow! I'm even getting paid for this!" I'm not sure you've got your personality profile worked out yet, but I think
some of the elements that seem to have shown up along the way have been Rebel/Artist, but that less powerful than the dependency habits of
Student/Believer so far. Sometimes Hard Worker/Doormat seems to be there, would you say? Sometimes Lover/Martyr, too. In the past, at times,
you've invested a lot of your Self into that area.
So, *hypothetically*, let's say Believer, Rebel, Doormat for a few minutes (and I'm not sure that's accurate for you, but I'm just making a point here).
Then you might find a soul job puts you in a position of being a loyal assistant to the most important figure in the company. But, if it's about you being
happy in your work, you would probably also like to have a certain amount of freedom and autonomy, coming from your Rebel/Artist—not being
told what to do all the time, but given your own space to be creative with what you do. And, from your Hard Worker/Doormat (if that's the case)
you would prefer that there not be any more tiring hard work than necessary, that it not be drudgery, that there be time to rest and take it easy now
and then, and that it be possible to work at your own pace, as you get what you have to get done at a mellow pace.
The Believer is the "go-getter" type, that can move quite quickly in the exercise of their job. The Doormat doesn't like to work too hard, but can do
that if it's called for, and survive it. And the Rebel wants to be free to shape their work in their own ways, if they can get away with that.
But in answer to your question about the Believer—it is a rather typical Believer story that they get hired on as an assistant to the most important
person in the company, like the boss. And because they are such a go-getter, and, they like to please, and especially because they are such quick
learners, what typically happens is that in the course of their employment they learn how to run the whole company, especially in all the careful details,
they actually learn more about doing that than their boss knows. The boss, heh-heh, becomes dependent on them! And because they may be "too
loyal," they often wind up not getting paid as much as they are worth for this. (I'll bet that scenario is familiar to a couple of you here in this class!).
Just remember this. It's great to be an assistant, and soak up as much learning as quickly as you can as an "apprentice." And, don't be dependent on
bosses for credit or approval for what you do. It's up to you to know and understand (in a mellow way) the power of the natural skills and talents
that you've got in you. Yet, if you aren't being appreciated enough, or paid what you really are worth, be cognizant of that reality. And keep
watching for those inner signals of inspiration in you along the way, so you notice the times when you can make another leap into the space. Believers
have the competence, with all that they learn, to strike out on their own successfully, and start their own companies when they are ready for that.
The only thing that may get in the way of that is those old Believer personality tendancies that they grew up with, thinking they have to look to others
for advice and depend upon others for approval and dependent relationships that provide security. When the Believer in a person's personality has
finally been transformed, they *know* that they've got all the right stuff, and they *know* they don't have to depend on others for security any more,
because they *know* from their own experiences that they can follow their own great and intuitive advice, and carry any day on their own.
And you don't have to wait until later to start looking in life for your soul job . . . whatever it is that you are doing now. You can always be practicing
personal growth at the job you've got, that will serve you terrifically when the real possibility of getting your dream job at last comes along into your
view and you are ready to leap.
Douglas, how about it? Will you invite me to attempt again to show you some reality about you that you can recognize as reality, too?
Love y'all. I'm feelin' better this afternoon. Got a big appetite again, too!
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